18 Simple Tricks To Spice Up Your Marriage by Jennifer Smith

18 Simple Tricks To Spice Up Your Marriage by Jennifer Smith

I used to think one would need to be at least 10, 20, 30 marriage years in to begin to explore ways to spice up one’s marriage. I have however realised that, the craze and trials of this present world considered, marriages of 1, 2, 3 years (and even 6 months old in some cases) have to explore ways to ensure they don’t miss out on the beauties and spice available to a youthful union. This article by Jennifer Smith (Unveiledwife.com) is a great start. “I hope these simple tricks encourage you to add a little spice to your marriage today. Try one or try all of them!” Have fun!

The tale of a broken woman…

Her colleague dropped her off at a junction close to home. It had been a long day at work and all she wanted to do was get in and quick too. She hoped for a sane night…no fights….no drama….and an early night too.

She started the short walk to her home. She took the first two turns and then a third and kept walking….but she couldn’t find her house….the street seemed longer….darker….different…..unfamiliar. She kept going….taking turns and turns…but it was no where to be found…. She couldn’t find her way….Could she be lost? Where was home? “Its the same route I take every day” she thought….Two rights, a left and a right……So why doesn’t it lead home….

She became very confused…She refused to believe that she could be lost….She retraced her steps back to where she thought was the beginning….She took different turns but it just kept getting worse. How could she be lost trying to find her way home?? She couldn’t understand it….couldn’t believe it….She started to get afraid….very afraid………it just could NOT be……!

But he would come for me she thought…calm down dearie your husband will come looking for you, she told herself…I mean he has to have noticed I have been gone for sometime now….so she thought…so he will come….

Minutes turned to hours….day to night….night to day…..hours….days….but he never came….he never came looking for her.  Was he trying she thought….? Was he trying at all….or perhaps he was but in his own way…..how would he find her if he was trying his own way……”Maybe I need to help him”, she thought….”Maybe I am not where he can easily find me….”maybe I need to move around a little more….to help him see me….and maybe help me find me….if he is looking….he has to be looking….”….so she keeps moving….”Well if he is not looking at least I should eventually find my way home of I keep moving….I mean it’s home, I should know where it is and be able to find it”….or so she thought….she never stopped moving….never stopped believing….she just kept going….

She started to feel deserted…frustrated…..but she kept going….”I can’t give up now” she thought…..”what day is it”….”how long as it been”….but she could not answer those questions either…..Then they came….they weren’t birds…they weren’t chickens…they looked like birdlike chickens, beautifully crafted….covered in blue and purple feathers….They seemed to have been walking around her all this while but she never noticed….but now she did….Some company at least she thought…..So she continued….she continued to drag her tired aching body…..trying to find her way home….

At first they were two….and then they started to add on….but she didn’t notice….never noticed that they were gathering….never noticed that they were picking at her….pecking at her…..her concentration was locked….locked on being found….locked on finding her way home….She was wearing out too….and fast….her clothes ripped….shoes worn…lines growing…things lost…but she kept moving…kept going……at least she had her wedding rings….she looked down at them…they’d give her the will…the will to go on…the will to find her way….to find her way home….

Then she got that point….the point of giving up….how can this be! she thought with frustration….”WHERE IN GOD’S NAME IS HOME?!?!?” she cried……then suddenly she felt it….”Ouch!” she winced…..pain…at her ankles….they were pecking…pecking at her….those stupid birdlike creatures….they had been pecking at her ankles all this while…but she hadn’t noticed….hadn’t felt them….but now she did…bright red deep bloody spots all around her ankles…..and they hurt…more and more….and they wouldn’t stop…..she ran….tried to get away but they wouldn’t leave her alone…..the more she ran the more persistent they became….they pecked and pecked at the same spots……in their numbers…and it was unbearable….She cried…she screamed….she ran……she climbed….but they wouldn’t go away…she climbed higher and higher….but her release was always short lived…they always found a way to overcome…and returned…..and pecked…..viciously…

She was tired….tired of fighting….tired of trying to find her way home…exasperated……she suddenly realized she might never find home again…..she was lost…..had taken too many turns……wandered too deep….gotten too lost…..tired….haggered….worn out…she felt totally crazed….but had no energy to exert further…..she gave up…..”What next Lord….where do I go from here…..”….she felt alone…..darkness surrounded her…..the pecking continued….the roller coaster of emotions….she screamed with tears scrolling down her face…..she cried…..she wept…..she slumped to the ground….she stopped….

Then he appeared out of no where….not the he she had been expecting but another…..he didn’t look familiar….he wasn’t the best looking of guys….lazy right eye…ripped shorts and a dirty shirt…..with a farming hoe on his right shoulder….”perhaps a local farmer” she thought…..Then he stopped……he raised her to her feet…….he got rid of the creatures….all of them…..all the pecking….all the hurting…he made it all go away…..and then he spoke….he spoke to her….and quite well too….his diction was flawless….he said he’d noticed her wondering around for sometime….He noticed at point she started to settle….settle where ever she found herself….where ever she found temporary peace…..sanity…..She said nothing…..

He cracked a joke about the birdlike chicken creatures….he said they used to bug him too….very determined pretty creatures….yet very very dangerous…..He said they were so pretty that one finds it hard to believe that they could possibly be the source of their pain….but he’d learnt….learnt a while back….learnt that they were very dangerous….and with time he learnt….he learnt how to get rid of them too….and not just temporarily….but for forever…..he learnt how to be free….how to be at peace…..how to be happy……He asked her if she would like to know how….he said he would like to teach her…..show her….help her….”Would you let me?” he asked…..Again, she said nothing…

He smiled…..then he pointed to a little shack not far down the path from were they stood….He said he lived there….and “if you ever need anything or eventually decide to let me help you……please do not hesitate to come by”…He smiled….She said nothing….And then he walked away….

She said nothing….what could she say?……She was in a daze…Who was he….Why did he stop to talk to her…..What could he want from her…..someone like her….she looked like crap…felt like total crap…..tattered….lines everywhere….dirty…..so why was he interested in HER….? Why HER…..?

What was going on…What should she do…….Should she follow him….Should she go after him….Maybe that was desperate….Maybe she should wait….wait for him to return….and then go to him….maybe….maybe not….

Should she take him up on his offer….but she was married….What was she thinking…….She was married…….wasn’t she….? She looked around….the birdlike chickens were gone….this was the longest they’d ever been gone…could they have been gone forever…? Did he just save her….Did he just help her…Without her asking to be helped….to be seen…to be found…but yet….he saw her…he helped her….he….but who was he….?

She had no clue who he was….but for the first time…for the first time in a long time….she felt peace……like her sanity was returning….everywhere around her…..there was suddenly calm….what was going on….what had happened…..what had changed…..what was different…..then she looked at her left hand…her wedding rings….they were gone….

Alone With The Birds

THE DOUBLE EDGED SWORD CALLED ‘DIALOGUE’

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Communication they say is key. Without proper communication perspectives are misread and opinions wrongly expressed. But how many do understand/remember that with expressing opinions comes a second angle to communication/dialogue – listening. And I’m not talking about hearing the sound of the person’s voice as it resonates in your ears. I’m talking about taking in the words and reviewing them in your head objectively before deciding whether to dismiss them politely or consider their merit towards eventual application.

Dialogue is generally defined as a conversation between two or more people as a feature of a book, play, or film; a discussion between two or more people or groups, especially one directed towards exploration of a particular subject or resolution of a problem. Synonyms include discussion, exchange, discourse, exchange of views, head-to-head, tête-à-tête, consultation, conference, parley, question and answer session; etc; all of which surround a two (not one) way discuss, involving talking and listening.

Communication is defined as the imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium. Synonyms include transmission, imparting, conveying, passing on, relay, conveyance, interchange, correspondence, dialogue, talk, conversation, discussion, speaking, talking, chatting, etc.; also two way.

So I believe we can safely say that a conversation/dialogue cannot be just about talking endlessly, expressing one’s feelings or thoughts without stopping to listening. It’s also about taking time out to listen to the other person’s views and considering (objectively) the depth of the points and worth/value of same and also, where reasonable, application. In the end, what your partner (or the person on the other side of the conversation) is saying may just be the truth of the situation; so don’t be quick to dismiss simply because it does not make sense to you. Stubbornness or egotism or being caught up in one’s world of right has overtime robbed people of the value which surrounds the beauty of communication; one of the bedrocks of a successful marriage and relationship.

In the end, if you don’t take time to listen (not just talking all the way), all you’ve had through the conversation is a monologue of how wrong you think the other person’s points are and how awesome yours are. After all, they say the good Lord gave us two ears and one mouth, that we may listen more and speak less. So the next time you get so wrapped up in being right and the exalted solo voice in that conversation, remember that proper dialogue/communication is a two way road; remember to listen🙂.

Xoxo!

5 Things Husbands Really Want Out Of Marriage by Aaron Anderson

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I have always been one of those who ask the question “WHAT DO MEN REALLY WANT ALREADY?!?!?” LOL! So you can imagine by excitement when I came across this short yet enlightening article by Aaron Anderson giving women a sneak peak into what they (men) really want in marriage(/relationships). I hope you enjoy it as much as I did🙂. And as you chew on that, here’s a bonus link from the nest.com for all those massage lovers out there (LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!😉😉 LOL!) to assist you and your significant other give each other professional massages (Massage Tips for 2 :- ideas.thenest.com/love-and-sex-advice/sex-questions-advice/Articles/how-to-give-a-massage.aspx).

Have fun! Xoxo!